how deep?

sometimes i get lost in my own thoughts and never come to a conclusion as a result.

i question whether "depth" in ones personality is a good thing or a bad thing. recently, a semi-stranger/acquaintance told me that through my singing, they sensed that i have a "depth" about me. and i feel like i've heard comments like this before, from people who are really close to me... but i want to take a step back and complain. because it HURTS MY BRAIN to keep seesawing thoughts and weighing out the pros and cons and questioning my questioning about questions that perhaps i should not even be questioning...? and what usually comes out of this, is a total brain fart, where i just kinda let it go and let it be, without getting to the root of it and without satisfying my thirst. and sometimes, i'll admit, that the thirst is not always pure - as if i'm thirsting for some hard alcohol while pregnant. so perhaps in certain situations, not quenching my thirst is the better option.

but other times, i'm still left confused and just... frustrated that i even come up with unanswerables.

at the SAME time... when i can remember and because God is so gracious, i thank God for giving me a brain that functions, for giving my brain the capacity to think such thoughts, that usually remind me that He is greater than i - that nothing in this world is certain but Him.

and in the end... that brings me comfort, joy, and peace. but it takes some time, some pruning, for me to get there, because i am such a stubborn, selfish little sinner.