does the holy spirit only speak to those who seek it?
i know that if you seek the holy spirit, it will speak to you in its own way- but what about when the holy spirit moves in a person to do something... does that person need to be one who is constantly seeking the holy spirit? does that person need to be in the word to know if it is being sought by the holy spirit? this is just a thought that occurred to me tonight.
why i ask this, is because i think i have either been ignoring the holy spirit or ignoring my first instinct as of late. usually, this occurs in a group setting where i feel a desire to say something that's on my mind.. but i don't because of fear. i don't want to admit it, but i know that i'm a scaredy cat at heart, and fear the judgment of people- whether they will judge me or 'falsely' judge me. WHICH i should not even be afraid of, because i know (or say that i know) that it is FINISHED and forgiven and complete at the foot of the cross, where i have been redeemed.
aside from that, though.. i also have this "problem" where i tend to get very emotional over the tiniest things. someone will share a story or a praise report a a short prayer request and i feel like if i just have a 'moment' to myself, i can start bawling in tears for them. it's like i can almost feel what they are going through.
and when people tell you, "i understand... i know what you're going through..." usually, it means nothing because... well, no one can really understand to the extent that Jesus can. but sometimes i feel, like physically can feel the weight of their burden on my heart for some strange reason. it's not like i ask for it, but i sometimes can really, really empathize with that person, though i have not been in the same or even similar situation. or maybe they just touch a soft spot in my heart... the spot that brings about waterfalls from my eyes... tearfalls..?
basically, i want to be able to control my emotions. control my tears. because i feel like i will come off as a ''weak'' person, and very fragile and just emotional if i just let the reigns loose. and i do know that i am weak. but i want to be spiritually strong in the Lord and just not be ashamed anymore... and not have these chains straining me down. i need to repent of ignoring what may have been the holy spirit. but can one control their emotions? am i stopping the tears from falling or am i stopping the holy spirit to do its will? i want to stop the tears but i do not want to stop the spirit.
usually, a girl coming off as ''emotional'' is not the best thing. it has a negative vibe, at least it does for me when i hear that, "oh she's SO emotional...!" and to know that i kinda am this girl... sucks, honestly. because i dont like that stereotype. and to be dead honest, maybe i want to be strong on the outside because i am weak on the inside. and i know i am weak. but again, i want to be strong in Christ, and know this is possible. just look at the people of the Bible. only through Christ's grace did they endure hardship and trial- only to come out as a better servant to Him.
i hate crying. and i especially hate it when i cry in front of people. this is whyyyy i don't open up to many. this is why i don't ''share'' too much of my personal life and personal thoughts because i will just end up with a paper towel roll in my hand (because i prefer them over tissue).
but either i need to pray that God take away some tears...? or that He may be able to make me become okay and perhaps even proud of it, in a sense. but even that-- why must i need to know that it is "ok"?? this is really frustrating because i know that all my sins are TAKEN CARE OF! i know it. and i know that i know. but maybe, just maybe... i haven't let it sink it as deeply as i should... and maybe that's why i'm not really getting the big picture just yet.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Charitie de Cheney Lees Smith Bancroft
what a fancy name. she is the author of these amazing lyrics:
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.
Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Questions for Week 4
1. In a previous CMJR course, we discussed product placement and the power it holds in media today. Chapter five of Woodward and Denton suggests that "the person who has been the most effected by a persuasive message is the advocate who delivered it (page 108)." Combining these two concepts together, I'd like to give attention to product placements made by well-known celebrities and big-name films. Many influential figures are paid to put in a plug for a certain product, as Oprah repeatedly has done for Target, and sometimes product placement will take away from a TV show or a movie like "Love Happens," in which the commercials alone that Quest was a big part of the making of the film. In light of what Woodward and Denton suggest that the person who delivers the message is the most effected, how appropriate or ethical is it to have a person deliver a message they are not supportive of? Is the audience hurt more than the spokesperson in this case? What happens when the persuasive message is not supported personally by the person delivering it?
2. Ability is a fundamental factor in determining the quality of a source, according to Woodward and Denton on page 112. We are able to distinguish those who have the "ability to tell the truth or to make intelligent observations about a specific subject" by measuring their "authority." The majority of patients who see their doctors for medical attention would most likely want to see that their doctor has the credentials, expertise and "ability" to treat them. As a part of this class, we are required to blog. Now that we are a part of the rising blogosphere and to an extent, understand the power of a blog (such as the recent raves of food blogs and fashion blogs, etc.), how can we determine a blogger's "ability" to blog truthfully? As many restaurants like to frame their credentials and positive reviews from newspapers and hang them on their walls, should there be some kind of system implemented to distinguish bloggers who blog truthfully with good intentions and notable credentials, as opposed to bloggers who have neither credibility or authority who may even be a secret blogger for a larger organization? Given that anyone can "Google" search any subject and be able to choose their sources, how can we be sure that what we are reading is written by an author of ability?
3. Woodward and Denton mention Katie Couric of CBS of having a well known character and persona compared to that of Bill Keller, the executive director of the New York Times who "arguably has a larger role in setting the nation's daily news agenda (page 115)." Although we read the paper more often than we see Katie Couric's face, we tend to recognize her name because we can put a face and personality to it. Bill Keller on the other, though his "role in setting the nation's daily news agenda" is significantly larger than that of Couric's, is less recognized by name. Is the medium in which we as an audience get our information the determining factor of how credible a source is? Do we lean towards acknowledging Couric more, because we can put a face to the name? Or is print media more favorable because we can fill in that "gap" of the unknown?
2. Ability is a fundamental factor in determining the quality of a source, according to Woodward and Denton on page 112. We are able to distinguish those who have the "ability to tell the truth or to make intelligent observations about a specific subject" by measuring their "authority." The majority of patients who see their doctors for medical attention would most likely want to see that their doctor has the credentials, expertise and "ability" to treat them. As a part of this class, we are required to blog. Now that we are a part of the rising blogosphere and to an extent, understand the power of a blog (such as the recent raves of food blogs and fashion blogs, etc.), how can we determine a blogger's "ability" to blog truthfully? As many restaurants like to frame their credentials and positive reviews from newspapers and hang them on their walls, should there be some kind of system implemented to distinguish bloggers who blog truthfully with good intentions and notable credentials, as opposed to bloggers who have neither credibility or authority who may even be a secret blogger for a larger organization? Given that anyone can "Google" search any subject and be able to choose their sources, how can we be sure that what we are reading is written by an author of ability?
3. Woodward and Denton mention Katie Couric of CBS of having a well known character and persona compared to that of Bill Keller, the executive director of the New York Times who "arguably has a larger role in setting the nation's daily news agenda (page 115)." Although we read the paper more often than we see Katie Couric's face, we tend to recognize her name because we can put a face and personality to it. Bill Keller on the other, though his "role in setting the nation's daily news agenda" is significantly larger than that of Couric's, is less recognized by name. Is the medium in which we as an audience get our information the determining factor of how credible a source is? Do we lean towards acknowledging Couric more, because we can put a face to the name? Or is print media more favorable because we can fill in that "gap" of the unknown?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The Great (impossible) Escape
Dani’s question posted on Sunday, October 4, 2009:
“Can we as an audience escape the media? With the idea that “audiences must be exposed repeatedly to the same message”(Persuasion, 391), is this at all possible? The media has become like a virus and can infect every moment of our everyday. Do we consume the media, or does the media consume us?”
My Response:
We cannot disregard the fact that society is cluttered with millions of competing messages each day, of which we as an audience consume. As an audience of media, we are both consuming what type of media to take in, but only just as much as media tries to consume our everyday lives. As Chapter 13 of Woodward and Denton suggests, the human attention span is extremely short and easily distracted, so our chances of retaining information from a commercial is not very high. However, the amount of effort we put into “escaping” media will always be rebutted with media that repeatedly exposes itself to us. What I am suggesting, is that media will always find its way to consume us. Professionals of this field are out there who make this possible. Strategically, message makers will carefully select their visual images and typography in an advertisement that will catch the audience’s eye. There is no escaping media unless we fly away to a deserted island where no sign of commercial life is present (though on the way there we will be exposed with the airline’s suggestive messages in their logo, uniform color and design, etc.).
The Gestalt “laws” outline the way we perceive messages and images, and how we might find identity in relationship to these messages. Whether we group similar things together or fill in what is left out of the picture, we do so while being consumers of such messages. In response to Dani’s question, I would suggest that we as an audience cannot escape the media because it will come back to bite us after we’ve let go (or thought that we had). We are consumers of media but not by choice; message makers expose ideas and messages repeatedly so that they can consume their audience in the subtlest ways.
Though some of us are aware of seeing product placements, advertorials, and the same large billboards, sometimes this allows us to avoid being consumers of such products and services. Nevertheless, we have already made it a point to avoid such products, which suggests that these ads have already consumed our minds, to the point where we have to make the conscious choice to not be a consumer of such products and services.
“Can we as an audience escape the media? With the idea that “audiences must be exposed repeatedly to the same message”(Persuasion, 391), is this at all possible? The media has become like a virus and can infect every moment of our everyday. Do we consume the media, or does the media consume us?”
My Response:
We cannot disregard the fact that society is cluttered with millions of competing messages each day, of which we as an audience consume. As an audience of media, we are both consuming what type of media to take in, but only just as much as media tries to consume our everyday lives. As Chapter 13 of Woodward and Denton suggests, the human attention span is extremely short and easily distracted, so our chances of retaining information from a commercial is not very high. However, the amount of effort we put into “escaping” media will always be rebutted with media that repeatedly exposes itself to us. What I am suggesting, is that media will always find its way to consume us. Professionals of this field are out there who make this possible. Strategically, message makers will carefully select their visual images and typography in an advertisement that will catch the audience’s eye. There is no escaping media unless we fly away to a deserted island where no sign of commercial life is present (though on the way there we will be exposed with the airline’s suggestive messages in their logo, uniform color and design, etc.).
The Gestalt “laws” outline the way we perceive messages and images, and how we might find identity in relationship to these messages. Whether we group similar things together or fill in what is left out of the picture, we do so while being consumers of such messages. In response to Dani’s question, I would suggest that we as an audience cannot escape the media because it will come back to bite us after we’ve let go (or thought that we had). We are consumers of media but not by choice; message makers expose ideas and messages repeatedly so that they can consume their audience in the subtlest ways.
Though some of us are aware of seeing product placements, advertorials, and the same large billboards, sometimes this allows us to avoid being consumers of such products and services. Nevertheless, we have already made it a point to avoid such products, which suggests that these ads have already consumed our minds, to the point where we have to make the conscious choice to not be a consumer of such products and services.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
chusok
it breaks my heart SO much when i see my parents get into an argument. it actually physically hurts my insides, as if someone is clenching my heart in their hands and as if a big rock is trying to go down my throat. because my mom is saved and knows Christ and my dad doesn't, it makes things twice as hard in this marriage. i don't know what is right... we've been praying for my dad for QUITE some time now... and he did have a phase where he attended church somewhat regularly, but it's been a while since he's stepped foot into a sanctuary.
and sometimes i really wonder what my dad lives for. an answer might be, for me, his only daughter... but man. that just makes me so sad. because he does not know that he is on this earth for a purpose... and that Christ loves him so much. sure, he has co-workers, but he has no brothers... no men of Christ to follow and to just be "men" with. he is always at home... trying to come up with different hobbies... tuning pianos, making a guitar, collecting records, etc. but when is going to realize that this is not going to get him anywhere? i remember when he used to get calls from his mom in Korea... but he has lost both his parents in recent years.
i dont know why i'm hurting so much for him especially tonight though... but i think it's because it was chusok (korean thanksgiving) and he was reminded of his mom... he just seems so down lately. he even called in tomorrow and isn't going to work.
all i can do is to pray for him and be the best daughter that i can be. and it KILLS me because i am not the daughter that i want to be... at least not yet.
and sometimes i really wonder what my dad lives for. an answer might be, for me, his only daughter... but man. that just makes me so sad. because he does not know that he is on this earth for a purpose... and that Christ loves him so much. sure, he has co-workers, but he has no brothers... no men of Christ to follow and to just be "men" with. he is always at home... trying to come up with different hobbies... tuning pianos, making a guitar, collecting records, etc. but when is going to realize that this is not going to get him anywhere? i remember when he used to get calls from his mom in Korea... but he has lost both his parents in recent years.
i dont know why i'm hurting so much for him especially tonight though... but i think it's because it was chusok (korean thanksgiving) and he was reminded of his mom... he just seems so down lately. he even called in tomorrow and isn't going to work.
all i can do is to pray for him and be the best daughter that i can be. and it KILLS me because i am not the daughter that i want to be... at least not yet.
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